Live Provocatively

Although this isn't my latest read, my thoughts wandered to a journal entry I made on 04/30/12 and I want to record it on my blog as well.

Points I received from reading Mark Dever's The Gospel and Personal Evangelism book:

To the Church, Beloved,

• Learn to ask good questions in order to provoke self-reflection.
• Question the orgin of life, how one understands the "bad things" in this world, thoughts on death, Jesus, God, judgement, etc.
• Listen AND make suggestions on what you believe is the case.
• Be provocative in your conversation.
• Live in a distinctly salty way--through words and actions. Make others thirsty. Make your whole life before others provocative.
• The message that you are sharing is not merely an opinion--but a fact!
• Islam has a shallow understanding of man's problems because it teaches that our problems are basically a matter of behavior, that the solution to our problem is merely a question of the will.
• We [Christians] don't think that our real problem can be dealt with by political power. I could put a sword to a person's throat and make him a sufficiently good Muslim, but I can't make anyone a Christian that way.

Trip to Cali

Ryan and I took a lovely little vaca to Cali last week. For the first time in one year and three months, I actually questioned why I would leave such a hip state for Kentucky. However whenever such a doubt would arise, I'd look at my travel partner and realize that even my life decisions were bigger than me, and out of my control.

An interesting phenomenon

It's an interesting phenomenon that heads turn immediately to find the sound of bursting laughter. There is hardly a sound more beautiful.

How are you doing?

It is interesting to observe the variety of responses one will get from asking the question, "How are you doing?"

Some reply, as a reflex, "I'm fine, how are you?"
Some proceed to fill you in with the details of their day as if what they do is connected to how they are doing. 
Some give a vague answer like, "Oh, you know, life is crazy but things are good."
Some will undergo to actually ponder the question and give you an honest response.

What does the question mean, anyways? What kind of answer are you looking for when you ask it? Is it merely a greeting?

I think it's important to challenge people to really think about how they are doing and wait for them to give you an honest, thought-out answer. Dig deep.

Thoughts on Proverbs

"The fear of the LORD is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor."
Proverbs 15:33

Implications:
Step 1: Cultivate fear of the Lord
Step 2: Make hourly choices that express my fear of the Lord

New topics preview

New blog topics have been mulling around in my brain for weeks now. The next few days are looking busy so I will not take the time to sit down and organize each topic but rather take advantage of the caffeine racing through my body at 1am to preview what I'd like to hit... eventually. 

1. Today I finally understood Romans chapter 6. I've struggled with this passage for years and I can tell that this understanding is going to have a life changing effect on me.  I really want to write about this revelation because I think it deals with something that many Christians misunderstand.

2. Needs I think need to be met (and potentially could be met by me): biblical and logical dialog on feminism vs. femininity commenting on specific feminist writers of books and columns that I've recently read, a how-to encourage single women and an explanation of the choices they face in the Christian realm - modern day-, & who's ministering to the Pastor's wives? blog & networking resources

3. My future plans with international missions, etc. but also my understanding of what to do with plans and direction. And how God is turning everything upside down.

4. Where the new blog title and sub title came from and how it's permanent (finally) and my new ambition for this blog.

Hopefully this will stir up accountability for me to write about each idea.

Random thoughts

I've been learning the value of pursuing people. Most people want to be wanted and respond well when you actively do so.

I enjoy pursuing others. It makes me so happy to get to know characters from all over the world and have a chance to figure out what they are passionate about, what puts a smile on their face--I have a chance to greatly impact them by speaking Truth in love.

I GET SO EXCITED!!

But a problem occurs when I have in mind more people to get to know than I have time for. I am sad when this happens. However I suppose that this only signifies that a party is in order.

[Second] idea for the day

Every minute spent not-learning is a minute wasted.

Idea for the day

If we are struggling, it is not because of our circumstances, but because of what we allow to control our heart.

More to come.

White

The snow falls so silently.

While my thoughts rage as a sea storm.

Years

I've awakened to a sense of urgency.

I cannot shake this feeling that I have wasted many years of my life living without focus, intentional goals or learning, living without ambition and drive to accomplish what I've always wanted to be.

This season has definitely changed me.

This morning-thoughts

It feels really good after having a very detailed and painfully scary nightmare to wake up in a safe apartment on my comfortable and warm couch. My heart feels happy just thinking about this. I think there is a particular pleasure in the process of being comforted after hurt.

God is my ultimate comforter. He receives pleasure and glory when I allow Him to comfort me.

What if

I had a thought. What if everyone was taught to read at least five world news articles in the morning before they began their day? This would mean that the conversation between people throughout the day would be much more well informed and decent opinions and ideas would arise from society!

I'm going to try to start doing this, but I need others to help me!

The reason you won't delete your facebook

** Whoops, currently being edited

Since the explosion of social media during the past few years, a particular question has unceasingly continued to cross my mind. Why is social media so popular and, dare I say, addictive? I've tried to make sense of it through my own personal reflection and experience. Since joining facebook around 7 years ago, I'd say that I've deleted my account a good 20 times--only to reinstate it, every time. And I know quite a few others who have done the same. So why can we count on sites like twitter, facebook, and blogspot to attract and (imprison) the online society? Please consider with me one possible conclusion.

Although at the moment I cannot find the exact quote that I am thinking of from John Piper's Desiring God, I'll never forget his point that our joy is multiplied when we are able to share experience with others. Consider the reason stories are told. If something particularly out of the ordinary happens during the day, a desire to share these happenings with another grows for the simple joy of hearing and sharing. A good story makes people happy--especially for the teller of the story. Joy is also had if there were a particular person who experienced that story with you, mutual bond is formed and can never die. (Memories.) Ultimately, my point is that joy is multiplied when people get to share their thoughts & experiences with others.

Secondly, upon reflection, I've decided that I think what people want most in life is to experience loving, self sacrificial care and engaging, thoughtful conversation with others. People desire community; God created them to desire it. People desire to share their experiences with other others; and they want them to care, self sacrificially.

My point? Society can be counted on to continue to post photos to facebook, update their twitter status, and describe their day on blogspot because they've found a way to share experiences with others. People want others to know "What they are thinking" or "What they are doing" because they want to have a voice, they want to be heard, they want to share and connect. Comments on a particular experience is a plus but whether others care or not--it's not an issue--once you hit "Publish," "Tweet," or "Post" the words are out there and available for others to read, and, ultimately, to care.

This is the reason social media has exploded. It has resonated with the deepest longings of the human heart--connection to other people, community.

A piece of paper is not enough

As of recent, I've decided to give myself an education. Previous to this present season of life, I admittedly (and guiltily) believed that receiving the paper that one is presented with if completed all the required classes for a B.A., meant that I was educated. This is not true.

However, gratefully (and obviously), I have come to the realization that the world, indeed, has continued to spin. Thus, there are a plethora of things to continue to learn about. Upon this new season of life, I realize how very little I know about the world--its politics, economics, culture and art. I blame my heritage for it taking me 24 years to realize how little I know.

Did that sound harsh? I hope it didn't. But where I come from knowledge, experience, even questions about the outside world is minimal. I was the first in my extended family to receive a college degree and this led me to believe that my education was complete. I didn't think about my learning beyond Fresno; although, I quite instinctively felt that I wanted to see more, experience more. (Please note: I am not trying to denigrate where I'm from or who I am. I'm proud of my Mexican/American heritage. I am proud of growing up on a farm in the Central Valley. I am now, more than ever.)

I've been exposed to a lot in a short period of time since moving to Kentucky. This is not because Kentucky is the center of the world for culture, arts and politics. (It definitely is not.) But perhaps because of the diverse people that I've met or because of specific situations that I've found myself in, that I now have discovered how little I know.

Whatever the reason, the truth is that I do need to continue learning. And now that I've come to this realization, my brain has become a 7/11 always-open, type of sponge. It is eager and desperate to receive all the possible information that it can within a 24 hour day. That's right, sometimes I don't even want to sleep because I want to stay up and read about theology or explore politics online or watch a documentary on how to grow an organic farm or write about what I'm learning or continue studying the Spanish language, so that my brain will grow and education will continue. I've felt quite obsessive for the past two weeks or so. Sometimes I can't sit still unless I'm learning or doing something productive.

I've had a thought to record what I learn and the opinions that I have formed as a result of my education here, on this blog. Right now it's just a thought.

My only fear is that this intense flame that has bubbled inside me will die with time. I do hope that this does not happen.

Biiirrrd

I just want to be me.
Be a bird wild and free.



But now that the bird has left her cage, I'm not convinced she remembers how to fly.

**It Is Well With My Soul**

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul!

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

--Horatio Spafford

//May it be for me, Lord.//

Crickets & Frogs

I am sitting on my yellow bed, in my empty room with the window open listening to the train & crickets & frogs. My life will be totally changing within 36 hours.

On Sunday I will be driving to Louisville, Kentucky to live, work, and serve at church there. There is definitely a feeling in my gut that has never been felt before. The feeling is this: anticipation of what will be coming my way/did I just make the right choice? Was this God? Or me?

In either situation, I know that Christ will still reign. If I go through struggle mode in Louisville, then it will be for His glory and my good. I know the book answers, I know what is truth--but I think that now, more than ever, I will need to live my theology. O help my unbelief!

Things are really about to change... entirely more than my life has ever changed before. I am at the mercy of God. I am not in control of anything!

I want to take joy in this, but the truth is right now I'm feeling more anxious than joyful. May the gospel permeate my very being!!!

The quest for joy is a fight!
... and I love it!!

Revelations 19

Sometimes He just fills me so much that I want to burst into a million pieces because nothing on this earth is enough. But His grace is sufficient.

Thoughts as I watch the sky go by

I want to live my life in an intentional way.