Let me hide myself in Thee

Heartbreak

My heart is broken.

I long for those whom I love to have their blinded eyes open. I want them to see the truth. I want to have a real relationship with them.

My heart is broken every time I think about their eternity.
I can't allow myself to think about this for too long.

this inspires me

Biiirrrd

I just want to be me.
Be a bird wild and free.



But now that the bird has left her cage, I'm not convinced she remembers how to fly.

Kentucky

It has been six weeks since I've moved to Kentucky; however, it seems like six months worth of happenings have happened.

I expect time to slow down after next week. This Thursday I will be going home to Fresno, CA to be in Jeremy and Tamila's wedding!! It will be good to go home and see family and friends again, but more specifically, to reflect on the changes that have occurred since April 5th.

The move has just been so very blessed. I'm so grateful to God that he would care enough to provide, protect, and lead me in countless ways! I have a job--working for an institution that I respect and care for. I have been taken care of when it comes to having a place to stay. I was living in the dorms on campus for the past six weeks. Today I moved into an apartment where I am "house sitting" for a couple for the majority of the summer. After this gig, I have no idea where I'll be but I can rest in the sovereign care of the Father. I've been meeting some really cool people here and am so grateful to be making friends. Moving 8 states away does not come without it's challenges--I've been stretched and tried--but I know that even those moments are for my good and God's glory, Romans 8:28.

I have no idea what else is going to come my way by the end of the summer, but I'm excited to see what it is. If you are reading this, I would ask that you would please pray for me to stay faithful to the gospel. I want to be faithful to keeping the Lord number one priority, particularly when it comes to future decisions and directions in my life, especially within the entire spectrum of relationships that I live in (both with family and friends.)

To finish out this post, I will share a few highlights from my very first visit to Louisville until the most current happenings. I apologize for the poor quality of the photos and lack of creativity, as these are only off my iPhone.



Tamila and I began our first trip to Louisville, Kentucky on March 2nd 2011. We left from the SFO airport on a rainy night.


Southern's campus is so beautiful. There is certainly nothing like this in California.


I was blessed to meet and stay with the Harmon's. They were so kind to let us stay with them.

Here are the two lovebirds. :) I can't wait til they are married!

Funky Lynn's Cafe.


When I came back from Louisville, my life changed. I ended up getting a job at Southern and had to pack up my stuff and fly back. The most difficult thing for me to part from were my books. Please excuse the messy-ness of the shelf.

On the eve of Easter I went to a gospel folk concert. It was fascinatingly cultural experience.

I love the trees at Southern. Especially walking through them at night.

Quite often visit Hotel 21c where there is a great museum. This is my favorite piece. I hope to replicate it sometime this summer.


It rained for a long time and the Ohio River flooded.


I made a new friend who takes me to all the cool places in Louisville.

This is the building I work in.


Made some great friends.



Papalinos. I love pizza. After returning from Italy I became very picky about my pizza, but I am not picky about Papalino's pizza. Probably my favorite in the States so far. This pizza has elk meat on it.

Friends from California came to visit! It was good time. So grateful for my brothers, Vitaliy, James, and Ben.

More pizza.

Originally I had a great office with the best view ever. But I had to move. :(

My mom sent me this picture of my grandma and my newest baby cousin Isaiah. :)



Been writing and reading and listening to music a lot lately. It helps me think better.


I cut my hair, a little shorter than I meant to. But it will grow.

I'm not ashamed of taking sneaky pictures during moments I'd like to remember. Even when that involves strangers.


I'm excited that I was honored with the opportunity of being one of Tamila's bridesmaids! But I was sad that I didn't get to do all the bridesmaids stuff like go to bridal and bachelorette parties. However, on Saturday the girls went to Pismo and skyped me on T's phone. :)


Lots of deep thinking has been happening here in Kentucky. God is teaching and stretching me.


Stankevichi nephews. I miss these kiddos. & I love the Stankevich family.

I want to LIVE

Today I remembered a few random tidbits from when I was younger that might explain a little about who I am today:

• When I was around 7 or 8 I wanted so badly to be an orphan. It was not uncommon for my best friend at the time, and I to "play" orphans. Looking back on it, I don't think that it was the idea of being without a family that appealed to me. I love family. Rather, I think I was attracted to the idea of being a nomad. A wanderer. Something that still appeals to me to this day. I like the idea of living simply and not having a permanent home.
  
• In the 6th grade I was obsessed with the book Harriet the Spy. I used to pack up essentials into my backpack, grab my composition notebook and head into the grapevines to pretend that I was really a spy.
  
• In the eight grade I attempted to read Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time. That should say enough.

BLAH

i want to create something, express myself--my thoughts--but have no medium or time or the environment/space, so my thoughts. are. stuck. inmyhead.

it's like having an itch and not being able to scratch it.

so much on the mind.
BLAH

I feel it all

This song makes me feel alive.