An Inconsolable Longing

Lately

2012-01-26T00:21:00.005-05:00

Evangelism, discipleship, biblical counseling, strategy, ministry mind shifts, church membership, responsibility, the value of faithfulness & commitment to people & things, dying to self & meeting the needs of others, intentionality & diligence in life goals, intentionally learning about various aspects of the world, continual intentional reading--this is a snippet list of what I have been learning & experiencing the values of these past few months.

It is so exciting to learn more and more--Praise God for teaching me!

I do realize that I used the word "intentional" many times in the above list.

(no title)

2012-01-24T11:55:00.001-05:00

If something is not "best," does that mean that it is not good, or just not as good?

Excited

2012-01-22T23:56:00.005-05:00

"The first step in effective time management is often to take the time to plan!"

The Wise Woman Manages Her Home

It's exciting to see what I've learned by experience in print. Even more exciting to see the fruit of such principles. Continuing to grow.

Text

2012-01-22T00:22:00.003-05:00

I am changing. Things are different now.

The title

2012-01-21T22:23:00.005-05:00

Titles are very important. I remember my professor stressing the value of titles in my creative writing poetry class, quite especially. During my late Sherlock Holmes readings, I've remembered how titles may actually add to the experience of a story, or help to understand it.

I was recently asked why the title of this blog is called "An Inconsolable Longing." (Although, it may well be noted that I often change the title of this blog to whatever I please.) However, as of late, this particular phrase has haunted me as I once read it in reference to an understanding of Tolkein and Lewis. Please click here to read where this came from.

I quite resonate with this "inconsolable longing" that Piper refers to.

Latest read

2012-01-20T00:22:00.004-05:00

"Colonel Ross still wore an expression which showed the poor opinion which he had formed of my companion's ability, but I saw by the Inspector's face that his attention had been keenly aroused.

'You consider that to be important?' he asked.
'Exceedingly so.'
'Is there any other point to which you would wish to draw my attention?'
'To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.'
'The dog did nothing in the night-time.'
'That was the curious incident,' remarked Sherlock Holmes."

I've been reading some Doyle this week. It's great fun. I always try to beat Sherlock at trying to solve the mystery, but it really is a pointless pursuit as I'll never be able to see all the clues that Sherlock paints before he explains them to me. But I did beat Watson at solving A Case of Identity today. :)

This morning-thoughts

2012-01-19T09:12:00.004-05:00

It feels really good after having a very detailed and painfully scary nightmare to wake up in a safe apartment on my comfortable and warm couch. My heart feels happy just thinking about this. I think there is a particular pleasure in the process of being comforted after hurt.

God is my ultimate comforter. He receives pleasure and glory when I allow Him to comfort me.

Fitzgerald

2012-01-18T11:09:00.001-05:00

"There was music from my neighbor's house through the summer nights. In his blue gardens men and girls came and went like moths among the whisperings and the champagne and the stars. At high tide in the afternoon I watched his guests diving from the tower of his raft or taking the sun on the hot sand of his beach while his two motor-boats slit the waters of the Sound, drawing aquaplanes over cataracts of foam."

Beautiful writing makes me happy. I want to be in this scene.

Optimism

2012-01-18T11:07:00.004-05:00

"It has taught me to hope..."

These words are haunting

I need to hear this again and again

2012-01-17T17:40:00.001-05:00

I love the book of Ruth.

What if

2012-01-16T17:25:00.003-05:00

I had a thought. What if everyone was taught to read at least five world news articles in the morning before they began their day? This would mean that the conversation between people throughout the day would be much more well informed and decent opinions and ideas would arise from society!

I'm going to try to start doing this, but I need others to help me!

Hoy

2012-01-16T15:23:00.003-05:00

Today was and is: a day off, a SUPERB talk with my discipler, possible big moving plans in the making, a failed attempt at making chocolate covered almonds, the best looking batch of chocolate chip cookies I've ever made, Spanish lessons for the bulk of my day, and dinner with friends.

El aeropuerto estaba fenomenal

2012-01-15T23:22:00.014-05:00

Airports are great for entertainment. Today I had a chance to visit the airport & pick up friends of mine, but I arrived earlier than necessary because I wanted to people watch. I headed straight for Starbucks and strangely enough, there was no barista in sight so I sat on a stool to begin my entertainment. A few minutes later someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turned to find a tall, curly long-haired man, with a rugged face and indie tattoos on his forearms. "Are you waiting for a drink or just waiting?" he asked. He was loud and full of smiles. I would describe Daniel as full of life, curious, and sociable. I feel fondly towards him, but perhaps I feel fondly toward him because he gave me a free drink and had some nice words to say to me. I don't think that was it.

Since it was a slow day for this particular Starbucks, the barista and I got to talking.

The best part of my day is when Daniel pointed out something. There was an old couple walking side by side together towards security. They looked just like any normal couple until you noticed the details. They were both pulling one carry on roller bag together. Their hands shared the plastic handle, side by side, in a sweet way that expressed, we don't have to say a word. Daniel and I both admired and watched until they arrived at security. The white haired man kissed his (wife?) on the forehead as she departed. He waited until she was through security before he left the airport. It was possibly the sweetest thing I've ever seen and certainly made my day.

Daniel and I, we shared a moment in time, an experience, together. We made a memory that neither of us will ever have shared with anyone else. We discussed our mutual love of people watching, various ways people watching can teach you life lessons, funny people watching stories, and had a genuinely good conversation. It was a genuinely pleasurable hour of my time, sitting with a stranger and watching the world travel. While I was waiting for my friends.

What are moments like this derived from? Can they be intentionally made? Or do they just happen whenever the mystic forces allow them to? I'm going to think about this.

I need to sleep. Today was a rough day and my head is aching worse than it has in a while.

Another social media rant

2012-01-15T21:42:00.004-05:00

The reason people love facebook and twitter is because it takes all the work out of getting to know people and forming relationships. You can create a sense of knowing someone by adding them on facebook or reading their tweets. But that is false knowledge.

Social media is relationships without work, and it's teaching society that we don't need to work within our relationships. That's a lie--relationships require hard work and deep care and selflessness.

The cutest thing I've ever seen! And I love this song!

2012-01-11T23:21:00.000-05:00

Lately

2012-01-11T22:00:00.005-05:00

Last night I couldn't go to sleep because I kept talking to myself. I seriously couldn't stop.

Here is a link to my pintrest. I don't use it much but I like the idea of pintrest because it's fun to have tasteful/pretty pictures all found in one place if I ever need some creative inspiration. http://pinterest.com/jaclynmarina/mine/

Is education a business? We need a revolution.

2012-01-11T18:13:00.062-05:00

There is a crisis going on within the U.S. Higher Education system. Here's a mesh of a few of my thoughts--not aiming for anything special.

Students are not being challenged to think critically--or think at all. Youth of this generation have lost their ambition. I think it's plain that if this pattern continues the next generation of America will grow up uninformed about virtually everything. Many students sleepwalk through college and still graduate with a degree (another problem: the grade curve) and they do this having learned nothing. I did this. I know many others who did this.

Faculty is not motivated to care about the quality of their teaching mostly because of two problems: 1) tenure-a well-known issue 2) the faculty at most higher education institutions are not paid very well anymore, or are now only hired part time. This eventually has an effect on the quality of education that is being given as many professors are forced to juggle two or three part time jobs at the same time and because of this, have no sense of loyalty to their employer or students.

In 1972, the U.S. government implemented what is now known as the Federal Pell Grant in order to help low income students get off the street and lower the unemployment rate. When it began, the Pell Grant would pay over 95% of tuition towards a public education. Today I would say the Pell Grant covers maybe 25% of it.

Eventually, with economic recessions combined with bad politics, the government began leaning away from grants and more towards low-interest federal student loans. On top of that, it became a trend to cut education budgets first since educational institutions can actually create a revenue for themselves--by raising tuition and fees. This is a bad idea.

Problems only surmount. Particularly during the the economic recession of 2008 Americans began flocking back to school; especially in response to the rising unemployment rate. Such a explosion in enrollment for public schools made it difficult to accommodate everyone, because of their cut educational budgets. Many institutions were forced to cut faculty, hire part time, (which cuts down the number of classes offered) and alongside that, to increase tuition and fees. What were our students left with? They now have to pay more money, as they stay in school longer, and the longer they stay in school the more their interest accumulates on student debt.

Enter the latest craze: for profit trade schools. Many turn education into a business as they have discovered a new way to finance these institutions. (I'd be interested to know what the reader's opinion on this is:) Wall Street investors sell and buy shares of for profit schools. Is it ethical for education to be considered a business? Not to mention the insanely ridiculous price per credit hour for profits often charge. A program certificate, diploma, or degree at a for profit often costs twice the amount one would pay for an associates degree at a public school-- and for what is most often less quality of an education. These types of institutions prey on potential students by marketing quick programs to complete a degree in 9, 12, or 18 months; hands-on job experience; AND guaranteed career placement. What could be more enticing to an uninformed, first generation college seeking student, who doesn't really even like school? They are sold a product. They are sold education. These students sign papers to take out federal grants, loans, and then private loans, to finance the gap, and end up receiving a piece of paper that usually will not give them the kind of job they were promised. Nor help them pay any of those loans back.

All the while, Wall Street investors make millions as 10% of college students in the U.S. are enrolled in for profit schools, yet owe 50% of the federal student loan debt in America. (Not to mention private loan debt, which is nearly equal to the amount of U.S. credit card debt- $750 million.) So who funds these for profit schools like University of Phoenix, ITT Technical Institute, Devry University, (etc.) and essentially, their multi-billion dollar investors? That would be you and me, the taxpayers.
Don't even get me started on quality of education acquired from these for profit educators.

What can we expect from the future generations of this country if we grow up to be uneducated and in debt? Is this crisis unavoidable or can something be done?

Personally, I think that if I am to avoid the inevitable wreck these future generations may be headed into, the only answer is to rescue my ambition. I must learn to do what the past generations did: work hard at my job, be faithful, and read books & newspapers to educate myself.

Grow some curiosity. Grow some ambition.

Higher Education

2012-01-09T18:56:00.005-05:00

Think about it:

A possible danger of online classes would be the fast-foodization of higher education where low cost, convenience, and the ease of finishing become values in themselves to the possible detriment of what can only be accomplished slowly and over time.

...We Americans want fast-food everything.

What a run will do

2012-01-07T16:04:00.010-05:00

Although, my entire life I had hoped to be a nomad, I was not prepared for everything moving to a new city would hold. I came to Louisville with a blank slate. I didn't know anyone and no one knew who I truly was. There is nothing that excites me more than unlimited potential--I'm a optimist.

During my run today, I was struck with the thought that what I like to do most is busy my life with a little color. When I first moved to Louisville, I think I forgot who I was. I was caught up in potential. Today I remembered a little bit of who I am.

I like color
I like to create aesthetic experiences for other people
I like quirky things
I like to create
I like to write--it's the best way I can communicate, but I don't practice it as much as I should
I like to read--theology and literature, & not contemporary books, & I'm trying to get into history
I like to listen to NPR
I like music--all types are appropriate for different situations, except country, which is never appropriate
I like to cook--particularly out of Julia Child's French cookbook, it's like art
I like organic gardens
I like flowers
I like roadtrips--I am the master of planning roadtrips
I like to travel, especially international travel and I find myself mostly drawn to internationals rather than American friends
I like finding obscure places to hang out
I like people watching
I like challenges--although it may not seem like it, I do have a competitive spirit
I like to continually learn--above all this is most important to me
I like to run
I like to make new friends & follow up with them
I like to think about deep things, but I never keep it in my brain for long because I have difficulty focusing sometimes and unless something is written out before me it doesn't make a lot of sense in my head, so sometimes I get great thoughts that I need to write out but I don't make time to because my great thoughts usually come when I'm in the shower or about to fall asleep or out for a run
I like higher education
I like learning languages--but have had difficulty in the past with focus
I like change and newness

I write the above list not because I am expert in any of it, but because these things make me happy. I don't know a lot of things; I have little experience and even less knowledge. But I am excited to live this life because I trust that I will learn and grow. Learning and growing is the most exciting thing about life.

The reason you won't delete your facebook

2012-01-06T23:32:00.042-05:00

** Whoops, currently being edited

Since the explosion of social media during the past few years, a particular question has unceasingly continued to cross my mind. Why is social media so popular and, dare I say, addictive? I've tried to make sense of it through my own personal reflection and experience. Since joining facebook around 7 years ago, I'd say that I've deleted my account a good 20 times--only to reinstate it, every time. And I know quite a few others who have done the same. So why can we count on sites like twitter, facebook, and blogspot to attract and (imprison) the online society? Please consider with me one possible conclusion.

Although at the moment I cannot find the exact quote that I am thinking of from John Piper's Desiring God, I'll never forget his point that our joy is multiplied when we are able to share experience with others. Consider the reason stories are told. If something particularly out of the ordinary happens during the day, a desire to share these happenings with another grows for the simple joy of hearing and sharing. A good story makes people happy--especially for the teller of the story. Joy is also had if there were a particular person who experienced that story with you, mutual bond is formed and can never die. (Memories.) Ultimately, my point is that joy is multiplied when people get to share their thoughts & experiences with others.

Secondly, upon reflection, I've decided that I think what people want most in life is to experience loving, self sacrificial care and engaging, thoughtful conversation with others. People desire community; God created them to desire it. People desire to share their experiences with other others; and they want them to care, self sacrificially.

My point? Society can be counted on to continue to post photos to facebook, update their twitter status, and describe their day on blogspot because they've found a way to share experiences with others. People want others to know "What they are thinking" or "What they are doing" because they want to have a voice, they want to be heard, they want to share and connect. Comments on a particular experience is a plus but whether others care or not--it's not an issue--once you hit "Publish," "Tweet," or "Post" the words are out there and available for others to read, and, ultimately, to care.

This is the reason social media has exploded. It has resonated with the deepest longings of the human heart--connection to other people, community.

The Church & community

2012-01-02T17:21:00.009-05:00

"According to Paul, gospel partnership is the normal Christian life. It means standing together united in the gospel, determined to live as citizens of heaven in the midst of our corrupt generation, longing and striving to see the gospel be defended and proclaimed, and bravely copping the conflict, struggle and persecution that inevitably follow."

"Leaders, pastors and elders are responsible to teach, to warn, to rebuke, and to encourage. They are foremen and organizers, guardians and mobilizers, teachers and models. They provide the conditions under which the rest of the gospel partners can also get on with vine work--with prayerfully speaking God's truth to others."

-Marshall & Payne

The Church: prayerfully speaking God's truth to others, within a community of every day life. What a beautiful picture! I want to be a part of that. Develop a vision and make it happen.

Ano Nuevo

2012-01-01T16:23:00.003-05:00

“Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.

(Isaiah 43:18-19 ESV)

Feliz Ano Nuevo

2012-01-01T03:09:00.000-05:00

I have SO much to write...

A piece of paper is not enough

2011-12-30T00:20:00.000-05:00

As of recent, I've decided to give myself an education. Previous to this present season of life, I admittedly (and guiltily) believed that receiving the paper that one is presented with if completed all the required classes for a B.A., meant that I was educated. This is not true.

However, gratefully (and obviously), I have come to the realization that the world, indeed, has continued to spin. Thus, there are a plethora of things to continue to learn about. Upon this new season of life, I realize how very little I know about the world--its politics, economics, culture and art. I blame my heritage for it taking me 24 years to realize how little I know.

Did that sound harsh? I hope it didn't. But where I come from knowledge, experience, even questions about the outside world is minimal. I was the first in my extended family to receive a college degree and this led me to believe that my education was complete. I didn't think about my learning beyond Fresno; although, I quite instinctively felt that I wanted to see more, experience more. (Please note: I am not trying to denigrate where I'm from or who I am. I'm proud of my Mexican/American heritage. I am proud of growing up on a farm in the Central Valley. I am now, more than ever.)

I've been exposed to a lot in a short period of time since moving to Kentucky. This is not because Kentucky is the center of the world for culture, arts and politics. (It definitely is not.) But perhaps because of the diverse people that I've met or because of specific situations that I've found myself in, that I now have discovered how little I know.

Whatever the reason, the truth is that I do need to continue learning. And now that I've come to this realization, my brain has become a 7/11 always-open, type of sponge. It is eager and desperate to receive all the possible information that it can within a 24 hour day. That's right, sometimes I don't even want to sleep because I want to stay up and read about theology or explore politics online or watch a documentary on how to grow an organic farm or write about what I'm learning or continue studying the Spanish language, so that my brain will grow and education will continue. I've felt quite obsessive for the past two weeks or so. Sometimes I can't sit still unless I'm learning or doing something productive.

I've had a thought to record what I learn and the opinions that I have formed as a result of my education here, on this blog. Right now it's just a thought.

My only fear is that this intense flame that has bubbled inside me will die with time. I do hope that this does not happen.

Foreshadow

2011-12-30T00:11:00.000-05:00

Discipleship

2011-12-29T23:19:00.000-05:00

"The third momentous implication is that this people-growth happens only through the power of God's Spirit as he applies his word to people's hearts. That's the way people are converted, and that's the way people grow in maturity in Christ. We plant and water, but God gives the growth. We speak God's word to someone, and the Spirit enables a response."

-Marshall & Payne

Basics, but this is the Church.

would it be much better if i knew nothing about you

2011-12-29T22:33:00.000-05:00

Mi Nuevo Apartmento

2011-12-28T23:28:00.000-05:00

Muchas palabras

2011-12-27T12:42:00.000-05:00

Hay muchas palabras que quiero decir... pero no puedo. Mis palabras flotando.

Julia

2011-12-26T18:13:00.000-05:00

I love Julia Child. I love cooking. It has become like art to me. I wish I could experiment all day long.

Fashion

2011-12-26T14:22:00.001-05:00

La mujer esta en el apartamento.

http://middlechildcomplex.tumblr.com

I love the fashion on the above blog-- for the most part, it exemplifies my taste. I like what is vintage, classy, with a beautiful hint of quirky. I love the feminine suggestiveness through each photo. It inspires me.

More to come.

Lately

2011-12-22T12:40:00.001-05:00

I think I know who I am now. Took me awhile, but I figured it out.

Something that I am learning about myself...

2011-11-16T00:03:00.000-05:00

I am an optimist. That is why I love to write stories.

I am usually always filled with hope towards difficult situations. This is not always for my benefit.

These qualities cause me to not give up easily and believe that anything can be done.

It's a sweet and bitter providence.

These days

2011-09-23T13:41:00.000-04:00

I just don't feel like I need to use social media these days anymore. No blog, (less) twitter, and facebook. I can find a better outlet of expressing my creativity than the internet.

We'll see if this lasts.

Job 37:13

2011-07-23T21:20:00.000-04:00

"Whether for correction or for his land or for love, he causes it to happen."
Job 37:13

Eph 5:1-2

2011-07-10T00:02:00.000-04:00

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

Ephesians 5:1-2

late night doodle

2011-07-09T00:29:00.000-04:00

God's Word

2011-06-24T23:10:00.000-04:00

I want to be the kind of person that loves, values and treasures the Word of God.

Women

2011-06-21T00:07:00.000-04:00

"At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman's differing relationships."

-John Piper

Hippies

2011-06-05T22:54:00.001-04:00

Love this

2011-06-02T21:41:00.000-04:00

We're so cool.

2011-06-02T21:16:00.000-04:00

Let me hide myself in Thee

2011-05-27T17:09:00.001-04:00

Heartbreak

2011-05-26T20:21:00.000-04:00

My heart is broken.

I long for those whom I love to have their blinded eyes open. I want them to see the truth. I want to have a real relationship with them.

My heart is broken every time I think about their eternity.
I can't allow myself to think about this for too long.

this inspires me

2011-05-19T01:42:00.000-04:00

Biiirrrd

2011-05-17T23:40:00.000-04:00

I just want to be me.
Be a bird wild and free.

But now that the bird has left her cage, I'm not convinced she remembers how to fly.

Kentucky

2011-05-17T18:15:00.000-04:00

It has been six weeks since I've moved to Kentucky; however, it seems like six months worth of happenings have happened.

I expect time to slow down after next week. This Thursday I will be going home to Fresno, CA to be in Jeremy and Tamila's wedding!! It will be good to go home and see family and friends again, but more specifically, to reflect on the changes that have occurred since April 5th.

The move has just been so very blessed. I'm so grateful to God that he would care enough to provide, protect, and lead me in countless ways! I have a job--working for an institution that I respect and care for. I have been taken care of when it comes to having a place to stay. I was living in the dorms on campus for the past six weeks. Today I moved into an apartment where I am "house sitting" for a couple for the majority of the summer. After this gig, I have no idea where I'll be but I can rest in the sovereign care of the Father. I've been meeting some really cool people here and am so grateful to be making friends. Moving 8 states away does not come without it's challenges--I've been stretched and tried--but I know that even those moments are for my good and God's glory, Romans 8:28.

I have no idea what else is going to come my way by the end of the summer, but I'm excited to see what it is. If you are reading this, I would ask that you would please pray for me to stay faithful to the gospel. I want to be faithful to keeping the Lord number one priority, particularly when it comes to future decisions and directions in my life, especially within the entire spectrum of relationships that I live in (both with family and friends.)

To finish out this post, I will share a few highlights from my very first visit to Louisville until the most current happenings. I apologize for the poor quality of the photos and lack of creativity, as these are only off my iPhone.

Tamila and I began our first trip to Louisville, Kentucky on March 2nd 2011. We left from the SFO airport on a rainy night.

Southern's campus is so beautiful. There is certainly nothing like this in California.

I was blessed to meet and stay with the Harmon's. They were so kind to let us stay with them.

Here are the two lovebirds. :) I can't wait til they are married!

Funky Lynn's Cafe.

When I came back from Louisville, my life changed. I ended up getting a job at Southern and had to pack up my stuff and fly back. The most difficult thing for me to part from were my books. Please excuse the messy-ness of the shelf.

On the eve of Easter I went to a gospel folk concert. It was fascinatingly cultural experience.

I love the trees at Southern. Especially walking through them at night.

Quite often visit Hotel 21c where there is a great museum. This is my favorite piece. I hope to replicate it sometime this summer.

It rained for a long time and the Ohio River flooded.

I made a new friend who takes me to all the cool places in Louisville.

This is the building I work in.

Made some great friends.

Papalinos. I love pizza. After returning from Italy I became very picky about my pizza, but I am not picky about Papalino's pizza. Probably my favorite in the States so far. This pizza has elk meat on it.

Friends from California came to visit! It was good time. So grateful for my brothers, Vitaliy, James, and Ben.

More pizza.

Originally I had a great office with the best view ever. But I had to move. :(

My mom sent me this picture of my grandma and my newest baby cousin Isaiah. :)

Been writing and reading and listening to music a lot lately. It helps me think better.

I cut my hair, a little shorter than I meant to. But it will grow.

I'm not ashamed of taking sneaky pictures during moments I'd like to remember. Even when that involves strangers.

I'm excited that I was honored with the opportunity of being one of Tamila's bridesmaids! But I was sad that I didn't get to do all the bridesmaids stuff like go to bridal and bachelorette parties. However, on Saturday the girls went to Pismo and skyped me on T's phone. :)

Lots of deep thinking has been happening here in Kentucky. God is teaching and stretching me.

Stankevichi nephews. I miss these kiddos. & I love the Stankevich family.

I want to LIVE

2011-05-17T17:11:00.000-04:00

Today I remembered a few random tidbits from when I was younger that might explain a little about who I am today:

When I was around 7 or 8 I wanted so badly to be an orphan. It was not uncommon for my best friend at the time, and I to "play" orphans. Looking back on it, I don't think that it was the idea of being without a family that appealed to me. I love family. Rather, I think I was attracted to the idea of being a nomad. A wanderer. Something that still appeals to me to this day. I like the idea of living simply and not having a permanent home.
In the 6th grade I was obsessed with the book Harriet the Spy. I used to pack up essentials into my backpack, grab my composition notebook and head into the grapevines to pretend that I was really a spy.
In the eight grade I attempted to read Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time. That should say enough.

BLAH

2011-05-15T00:53:00.000-04:00

i want to create something, express myself--my thoughts--but have no medium or time or the environment/space, so my thoughts. are. stuck. inmyhead.

it's like having an itch and not being able to scratch it.

so much on the mind.
BLAH

I feel it all

2011-05-15T00:48:00.000-04:00

This song makes me feel alive.

It Is Well With My Soul

2011-04-16T16:13:00.000-04:00

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul!

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

--Horatio Spafford

//May it be for me, Lord.//

Initial thoughts

2011-04-09T18:13:00.000-04:00

Louisville:

1. I feel like I'm driving in LA (bad drivers everywhere)
2. The stoplights are weird
3. The streets are small
4. The air always feels wet, even when people tell me that it's not really humid
5. The people here are different

Crickets & Frogs

2011-04-02T00:35:00.000-04:00

I am sitting on my yellow bed, in my empty room with the window open listening to the train & crickets & frogs. My life will be totally changing within 36 hours.

On Sunday I will be driving to Louisville, Kentucky to live, work, and serve at church there. There is definitely a feeling in my gut that has never been felt before. The feeling is this: anticipation of what will be coming my way/did I just make the right choice? Was this God? Or me?

In either situation, I know that Christ will still reign. If I go through struggle mode in Louisville, then it will be for His glory and my good. I know the book answers, I know what is truth--but I think that now, more than ever, I will need to live my theology. O help my unbelief!

Things are really about to change... entirely more than my life has ever changed before. I am at the mercy of God. I am not in control of anything!

I want to take joy in this, but the truth is right now I'm feeling more anxious than joyful. May the gospel permeate my very being!!!

The quest for joy is a fight!
... and I love it!!

Whirlwind

2011-03-25T02:45:00.000-04:00

Well, it looks like I'm moving to Kentucky. These last two weeks have been a complete whirlwind of events.

However, I can't say this for sure, because I'm learning more and more about how I am NOT in control of what happens in my life! Hah. So it looks like I may be moving Kentucky, but we'll see what actually comes to pass! I did not ask for this, but it happened, and even though I am sad to leave Fresno, I am excited to see what happens in Looavul.

Revelations 19

2011-03-20T00:11:00.000-04:00

Sometimes He just fills me so much that I want to burst into a million pieces because nothing on this earth is enough. But His grace is sufficient.

Thoughts as I watch the sky go by

2011-03-18T02:46:00.002-04:00

I want to live my life in an intentional way.

Where I am

2011-03-16T02:28:00.001-04:00

"Fight for us, O God, that we not drift numb and blind and foolish into vain and empty excitements. Life is too short, too precious, too painful to waste on worldly bubbles that burst. Heaven is too great, hell is too horrible, eternity is too long that we should putter around on the porch of eternity."
-John Piper

"Whatever comes, we shall endure."

2011-02-12T03:24:00.000-05:00

During this season of life...

...I'm learning.

200th post!

2011-01-12T02:43:00.000-05:00

I will celebrate my 200th post with two of my favorite boys. They bring me much joy & silliness :):)

Braden & Tyler

Resolutions: Paul Tripp

2011-01-09T03:58:00.000-05:00

This is a very good article. You should read it here

Should I take back my resolutions? Maybe. But most importantly I realized something life changing while reading this article.

Life is the millions of tiny choices you make. It IS important to stay faithful.

This was good for me to read. I hope I will remember it.

I need grace.

New Years

2010-12-23T04:28:00.000-05:00

It's not new years yet & I never make resolutions. Never. But this year I have 3 resolutions in mind:

1. Learn spanish completely fluently by the end of the year (maybe i'll add another language if I do well)
2.Work out every day of the year except saturdays & sundays at GB3 or running outside (shouldn't be to hard, i love working out)
3. Get my life together.

Particularly, resolution number 3.

This will conclude my resolutions. Thank you and that is all.

Music

2010-10-04T02:25:00.000-04:00

I used to search out and listen to legitly good music.

Want to start doing that again...

Also, I miss playing the guitar. I need to play more. I want to learn more.

Unconditional Love

2010-09-29T02:13:00.000-04:00

A thought just struck me.

My problem with unconditional, free as a bird, self-less, pour-my-life-into-you kind of love is that it might be lost.

There is nothing that scares me more than imagining the ones I LOVE the most burning in hell for eternity.

What if I pour my life into someone who God will not save and they end up in hell? The pain in my heart is so strong about this, that I can hardly allow my thoughts ponder on this for more than a few seconds.

Yet I know that man is not worthy to be saved and that we are entirely sinful. God is so good to save even one person from what they deserve.

It still pains. Something I battle with. Yet, will I still say: "Jesus reigns!" on the Last Day? Yes, I think I will still say that.

Marriage!

2010-09-29T01:51:00.001-04:00

Nope, not engaged or anything, but oh man have I been thinking a LOT about marriage the past few days! Our college group recently had a retreat and we went over What He Must Be by Voddie Baucham.

Here are some thoughts:

If you do not love the church, you do not love Christ!

Christians should love and value the institution of marriage because Christ loved and valued the institution of marriage.

Christ was all about the church. He died for the church to be saved and raised with Him in glory! He is the Bridegroom and the church is his Bride. Marriage.

Therefore, as marriage is a shadow of this very gospel (what Christ did for the church) (Ephesians 5) we should value the institution of marriage, praise the institution of marriage & raise our children up to do the same. However, by no means do I mean to hint that Christians should idolize marriage.

We should love the church because Christ does. You can't love one without the other.

Someday...

2010-09-21T22:24:00.000-04:00

I would like to transform a house into a home.

Sometimes...

2010-09-04T21:01:00.000-04:00

...I'm walking a fine line.

This spoke to me on many levels

2010-08-28T03:30:00.000-04:00

'Encountering Absolute Rest'

Editorial from Tabletalk magazine By Burk Parsons

"All human beings are made in the image of God, and all human beings know God created them, whether or not they want to admit it. We know that God created us with an insatiable desire for goodness, truth, and beauty. By nature we know we need these three things and that we need them absolutely. We do not yearn for partial goodness, truth, and beauty but for complete and absolute goodness, truth, and beauty. We strive after these three essential qualities because we can't help but strive after them. Just as God has put eternity in our hearts (Eccl. 3:11), He has put goodness, truth, and beauty in the very fabric of our souls. And as we eternally desire infinite goodness, truth, and beauty, so the God who embodies these has created us to know Him, the only infinite one, who is the beginning and the end of all goodness, truth, and beauty. As such, by God's design, we will never grow tired or bored in our pursuit, knowledge, and love of these transcendentals that find their fulfillment in God Himself.

In his Confessions, Augustine prayed, 'Great art Thou, O Lord, and greatly to be praised; great is Thy power, and of Thy wisdom there is no end. And man, being a part of Thy creation, desires to praise Thee... Thou movest us to delight in praising Thee; for Thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee.'

Our hearts are restless without God, and they won't fully cease to be restless until we see Him face to face, coram Deo, and find our final rest and fullest expression of worship in the One who created us to worship Him and be fully satisfied in Him. As believers, just as the Author of our faith made us dependent to find rest in Him at our conversion, so the same Finisher of our faith is about the unrelenting business of making us dependent everyday of our lives to find daily rest in Him alone.

However, as self-made men with idols that look just like us, we are constantly chasing after mere shadows of goodness, truth, and beauty. We catch a glimpse of what tickles the ear, fancies the eye, and amuses the mind, and we chase after it with all our might. Both the enemy within and the enemy without have become successful partners in manufacturing appealing idols that have the appearance of goodness, truth, and beauty, attempting to draw our eyes from the Creator to the created. But as it is, all creation sings God's glory, and wherever we find goodness, truth, and beauty, may we draw our eyes from the created to the Creator."

I want to move away

2010-08-15T17:48:00.000-04:00

I want to move away and go on a grand adventure.

!!!

2010-07-19T02:24:00.000-04:00

I want to clearly, intelligently & creatively express myself but my brain is so fried. Crazy busy week of babysitting near every day, VBS kids songs, wall decorating, slip n slides, swimming, perspective teaching plans, hours in starbucks, picking up hitchhikers, loving the body of Christ, loving family, being taught graciously by Christ himself that His love overcomes pain, suffering & death. Life changing things all around, my friends.

Lists

2010-07-11T02:50:00.000-04:00

1. Majorly feel like traveling... to many places, right now. But first I need to find a traveling buddy or two. :)
2. I want to make scones. Lavender scones. But it has to get overcast and rainy first.
3. Trying to decide between getting my teaching credential to become an English teacher or a K-3 teacher. I CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND! :)
4. Thinkin' of maybe movin' to some other city... just for a bit. Nearby probably. Either LA area or somewhere north like Portland or Seattle. Or maybe it won't happen.
5. I really want to write a book and I've been ichin' to work on what I've got so far, but haven't yet...

Have flavor. Learn Theology.

2010-07-10T04:38:00.000-04:00

Hipstamatic

2010-07-09T02:18:00.000-04:00

My Mind

So the bird flew into the window and slid down to the floor. A hush immediately fell over the room and Julian dropped his glass into a shattered mess on the floor. There was no hope. Right then, as beaming from the sky, a lightning bolt struck the roof and it fell off to expose the black coal sky above. And a spotlight from heaven shone down, as a stairway formed and at the top of the steps there stood a lamb. The occupants of the room could do nothing more than fall to the ground in terror. Faces flat, backs quivering. Not a sound was heard, even the creation was subjected to silence. Although it was not but mere minutes that passed, all upon the earth felt it was years before they felt relief enough to move.

It came to sweep me off my feet as an ocean wave in the sea. When I woke up that morning I thought that nothing extra-ordinary appeared to be planned for that day. I simply woke up half grumpy and brushed my teeth, like on any other day. I grabbed my half mug of tea and piled into my car. I was gonna make it just in time for work. Today I would be at S_____ High. Shuffling through the offices, I obtained the keys necessary & headed towards attendance then onto the English Department. Eyes half closed and arms full of books and papers, I shivered as I finally unlocked the door to the barren portable. Rearranging papers and organizing my day, I set my phone to the left of me, directly under my chosen read for the day: "The Holiness of God" by RC Sproul. I walked to the front of the room to write my name on the board when I heard it. My phone was buzzing, so I picked it up to check my message and

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spent some time trying to be in silence today.

but it didn't really work... :/

Soccer & Water

2010-07-06T01:22:00.000-04:00

I love this psychological thriller of a game, where mind reading leads movement, burning muscles and shrieking lungs are endured and ignored. Excitement is heightened and the roar of the crowd is imagined.

I love the refreshment of water. There is a subconscious calling from the insides that leads me to drink deep when I'm in need of energy & draws me to this delicious liquid. It makes everything better. It calms.

To be like Jesus!

2010-07-05T23:41:00.000-04:00

"When I don't get what I want... woah
And things take longer than they ought... woah
Waiting's hard for me to do.
But I know one thing that's true.
JESUS, you will always be
Patient, gently teaching me!
I see in You what I wanna be."

Gotta Wait
by Sovereign Grace Kids from this CD:

Wow. I'm picking songs for VBS & to my great surprise children songs off the Sovereign Grace CDs are so solid! (Both biblically and musically.) I would listen to them on my own free time as normal songs! They are so deep and full of conviction. I wasn't expecting it... but these lyrics are just speaking to me! :):)

That "Gotta Wait" song... may I apply this in regards to many situations like job, sanctification, marriage, growing up, understanding, evangelism, etc!

I love this song off the Awesome God album.

Sovereign One

When I’m all alone and afraid
I will trust in You
For You watch over my ways
When things in my life don’t make sense
I will trust in You
For You are good, You are good
Sovereign One
You work all things to Your plan
Sovereign One
You hold all things in Your hands

When I don’t get to have my own way
I will trust in You
For You know what is best
When tears begin to roll down my face
I will trust in You
For You are good, You are good

Perfect in power, You control all things
Perfect in wisdom, You know everything
Perfect in goodness
Jesus, You’re so good to me
So good to me!!

What beautiful lyrics for children to be singing! Oh that the Lord would capture their hearts at an early age! What a mission field! To the children!

Live the Gospel

2010-07-04T03:48:00.000-04:00

"Whether you are aware of it, what you allow or disallow in your behavior affects your witness for Christ-and the world is watching. It's an issue of testimony-what your life says about God. Your testimony either tells the truth about God, or it tells a lie. The choices you make in the "gray" areas should reflect your concern not to bring offense to God's reputation but to bring Him praise instead."
-John MacArthur

Resolved 2010

2010-07-02T01:42:00.000-04:00

I've come home and still can't begin to sort out my thoughts. :)
What a blessing.

God loves me. God loves ME.

Because the sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free!

Nothing else to rely upon

2010-06-24T14:48:00.001-04:00

I have nothing else to rely upon but the fact that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, lived, died, was buried, rose again, went to heaven, and still lives and pleads for sinners at the right hand of God.

-Spurgeon

Now and soon to be

2010-06-21T01:26:00.000-04:00

To classify myself, I must say that I am a wandering daydreamer. I constantly dream dreams, make lists, & invent stories. There are many things that I want to be when I grow up:

become a gardener

become expertly domesticated

do crafts, create, invent, and make things beautiful

produce art

be an expert in interior design

be a REAL writer, write my books

be able to speak Spanish, Russian, and Italian fluently

be like really really really expertly good with kids (in a gospel viewed way)

become more evangelistic & bold in faith

be more disciplined in reading & also running/exercise

be more loving and sympathetic and in mind of others!

Yes, I say this is what I want for when I "grow up."

But I've recently realized that I am grown up. The time is now. I am not promised another day. Too many times people wish and say that tomorrow I'll do this or that, but the Bible says:

"Come now, you who say, Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that. As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin." James 4:13-17

Do not waste time. Just do something. Do it now. Do it for the glory of God above.

Help

2010-06-16T14:14:00.000-04:00

sin's so bad it's a lie
it says we on the throne, tells God to retire
it says He aint enough
its says we want more
it says He aint just
its says He aint Lord
& sin is the laugh of His power
the rape of His mercy
the mock of His patience
it says He aint worthy

"Live Free" Lecrae

I'm struggling a lot these days. Trying to believe. But my heart is not 100% believing. So idols have crept up again.
I'm trying to kill sin. I can only do that by the power of the Spirit. His Word. It's all warfare. Pray for me. :/

Problem

2010-05-31T20:39:00.001-04:00

If anyone reads this, you really dont know me. Let me tell you that I've truely got a lot of problems. I mean I am depraved. DEPRAVED. I see myself tinting everything with sin. The biggest problem I deal with is my ME-centeredness. I make everything about me. I am the chief of sinners.

Lord, I cry, would you save me from myself!

Digging deep

2010-05-31T18:36:00.000-04:00

On studying theology (the study of God) and doctrine and church history:

"Careful study of the character and attributes of God should leave us feeling more amazed, more loved, and more secure in God's love. But this happens in the most surprising way. We become more confident of God's love for us as we understand we are not the center of the universe. God is. God is not centering himself around us and our worth. God is centered on his own eternal glory."

-Josh Harris
Dug down deep

Just Do Something!

2010-05-29T02:01:00.000-04:00

This book has changed my life and perspectives! I bought it when I went to Together for the Gospel last month, but I just found this sermon tonight and it's great! I know it was for a men session but it's still so good for me to hear. : ) There is a womens session sermon too and I'm gonna listen to that as well, so I'll post that as well. : )

Here is a blog about the book and you can buy it on a link here.
Here is the sermon for the mens session: "just do it" here.
Women's sermon: "radical womanhood" here.
Here is the conference NEXT resource link.

I really hope someone listens to these. Just download them and put them on your MP3 player and while you are doing some mundane task or exercising or cleaning & listen to it. It's a great way to set your mind on things above!!! Colossians 3!

Words. Happenings.

2010-05-27T19:20:00.000-04:00

I was just living today and words just came flooding into my mind like a waterfall and I thought to myself, I should blog these thoughts. So I came back to my computer and these words drifted away like a cloud.

Such a blessing yesterday.

2010-05-24T19:23:00.000-04:00

love.

Musings of a Wandering Daydreamer

2010-05-10T23:28:00.000-04:00

I was sprinting down the street with a huge black and brown rottweiler dog chasin' & ready to tear apart my legs.

It was chasin' me and I was too afraid to stop and dream it. Because I've done that before. One time I was running just like this and I gave into my achin' legs to give them rest and the results yielded death. This is the Ultimate Reality that I know to be true.

So I was tearin' down that street, and I'm continuing to slap my bare feet against the rocky pavement. It's simply like this: I cannot stop. I know what would happen. But my strength is this: MY STRENGTH IS A GREAT GRACE that captivates every molecule of my body and draws me in. That is why I can keep running. That is the only reason I don't give into my aching legs. My endurance comes from grace. A lesson I cannot forget.

"Be killing sin or sin will be killing you." -John Owen.

"For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.
To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.
For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot.
Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.
But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness.
If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you."

Romans 8:5-11

Counting your chickens before they hatch (or treasuring the gifts and not the Giver)

2010-05-10T00:22:00.000-04:00

Here is another lesson that I've learned and finally got around to putting it into words. Maybe a short anecdote will help explain it.

I was given a free gift. It was beautiful. (A '95 Ford Escort Station Wagon, it ran so super smooth and had low miles, & I totally dig wagons. :D..) I did not expect this to come but God used his children to give me a free car and I was so pumped for what that meant: I got to use this opportunity to boast in our Lord! I was excited and (probably prideful) to be quick to tell my parents and grandparents that it was grace! Grace, grace, God gave me a free car! So it was beyond the "want" (or so I thought) I mean, it wasn't a beautiful "hip" car, but I loved it because it was a great example of grace and that the Lord provides richly for what we need. These thoughts continued for a full day. I was excited. The day it happened, I got my car, drove to church, visited, came home, went to sleep, woke up and first thing: I washed it inside and out. So I was gonna stay home, but then i think, 'Man, i'm so excited, I'm just gonna go out and do some errands.' So I went to the bank and it was running beautifully.
I walk into the bank, do my business, come out and turn the key and RAHHHH, an ugggly noise comes out of the engine. So I bang my head on the steering wheel for a little bit because I can't believe that this is happening. I go out to check under the hood like I know what I'm looking for and cause everyone is looking at me. I open the hood with great authority like I do this all the time, give everything a good look over, except I have no clue at all what I'm looking at, and go in the car to try it again. Nothing. It won't turn over. I feel a mix of crying and severe anger. So after spending about 10 minutes in denial, I finally call my mom to ask my brother to come see if it needs to be jumped. He comes and nope, that certainly is not it. So I abandon my car until my dad gets off work and go home with Fidel.

When my dad checks it out he concludes that a rod in my motor bent and it will take more than it's worth to fix it. Booo was my heart. Immediately I become mad at God who "made me look like a fool" as in my heart I was gloating when I was telling everyone I knew that it was grace and God provides things out of thin air. Basically my heart was wretched toward the truth even when I was "trying to do the good thing" by boasting in the Lord.

That night was Upper Room potluck at Church so I go and while I'm there I realize a very important lesson: IT WAS STILL GRACE!!! EVERYTHING IS GRACE, even to the point of this: God is still giving us grace even when things that seem right aren't going right. Just because the things that have the appearance of right don't happen, doesn't mean that God isn't good. HE IS SOVEREIGN!

Well, I feel like I was able to put it into words better the other day. But the above is kinda what I got from this lesson. But does this make sense? Grace is EVERYTHING. This seems like such a simple "duh" statement, but for so long I "knew" this in my head and never "believed" it in my heart. This time around, I think it finally stuck.

When I was pondering these events a few days later I thought of this: what if someday the Lord will give me grace enough to be engaged to someone? and what if right after our engagement that person dies? Will I be crushed enough to curse God and turn away? NO. Because ALL is grace! I don't deserve this next breath I take, yet the Lord is gracious and merciful and loving! I shall rejoice in ALL circumstances, ALL GIFTS THE GOOD AND THE BAD because I will exalt the GIVER and not the gifts! :) The Lord gives and he takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord!

As I look back on many past experiences, I see my attitude towards such circumstances. I counted my chickens before they hatched, believing that I knew what was gonna happen in my life. BOY WAS I WRONG! Haha, dead wrong! Many things crashed in my face as the very thing that I very much hoped against happened right in front of me. Multiple times! And my heart was wicked and hurt, and I didn't rejoice in the Christ. I didn't learn the lesson that I should have so many times before, when it had to do with people and relationships in my life, but I finally understand this lesson a little better when it had to do with a car. :)

Now I realize this: I have no control or idea what the future holds because whenever I think something is right it is usually wrong, and through this the Lord is turning my head & pointing me to Him and not the gifts, which is a great lesson to learn and I am thankful for it. :)

Now I'm learning to not try to guess but to simply abide and rest in Christ! Every second of the day I long for this! Because I can't guess anything! And I finally understand this verse:
Matt 6:27 "And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" The Spirit brought it to my mind as I was marinating about this situation... When we worry about the future, we worry about the inevitable, and WHY WORRY ABOUT THE INEVITABLE?.... IT IS INEVITABLY GONNA HAPPEN AND WE CAN'T CHANGE THAT!

Whew! This gives me great relief in many areas in life! I'm finally gaining peace from God's sovereignty in many areas, especially: the area of marriage, work, family and friends. I'm not perfectly in tune and understanding this, but I've certainly learned a load of stuff within this topic and I'm grateful! :D

Kentucky Fried Fotografi

2010-05-10T00:01:00.000-04:00

Some photos from my recent 8 states road trip to Kentucky for the conference T4G.
What grace that is lavished upon me! :D

I LOVE looking at these photos. We also took some great videos. What grace! :)

Something

2010-05-06T23:11:00.000-04:00

**I wrote this for an app and I liked how it helped me understand what I'm learning in life better, so I thought I'd post parts of it here so I can always remember.

By the grace of God, I have come to see Christ as "the way, the truth, and the life." (John 14:6) As I am being sanctified by the Lord, he has led me to understand and believe in the ultimate reality of the preeminence of Christ. (Colossians 1:18) Thus, every day I am learning to comprehend and value the eternal, unstoppable, immeasurable importance of the Gospel.

This understanding influences everything about my life because it is deeply rooted in how I understand the world. As I approach anything, I look at it through the lenses of the gospel. There are three questions to ask: Who is God? Who is man? Who is Christ? From these questions the perfect holiness of God, the sinful depravity of man, and the reconciliation that comes from Christ on the cross is illuminated! And I truly believe that this is key to life!

I want to be God-centered and exalt Christ; therefore, I hope to point people to Christ and his gospel. So as I approach the topic of student development, I can only approach it in the way I've come to understand the world--through the gospel. Forgiveness comes from the gospel. Reconciliation comes from the gospel. Love comes from the gospel. Believers are empowered to forgive because they have been forgiven much. Believers are empowered to have mercy because ultimately, God has had mercy on us. "We love because he first loved us." (1 John 4:19)

Through the gospel, life makes sense. It is so vital; we never lose our need for the cross. From conversion through sanctification, as our awareness of God's holiness increases, and a growing awareness of our flesh and sinfulness increase, the cross looms bigger and we grow in the gospel, which is being able to rest in Christ. Rest in Him as our perfect Redeemer--the One who is "our righteousness, holiness, and redemption." (1 Corinthians 1:30)

The Love of God hymn

2010-04-09T13:27:00.001-04:00

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.

When hoary time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men who here refuse to pray,
the rocks and hills and mountains call.
God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—
The saints’ and angels’ song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

Oh, love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure—
The saints’ and angels’ song!

Inspiration from a storm

2010-02-28T03:36:00.001-05:00

I like to make lists. It helps me understand what is in my brain better.

The Word truely is the Bread of life. May we not starve. Christ truely is the fountain of living waters. May we drink deep.

What more can I do? I put my only Son on the cross for you.

2010-02-26T14:09:00.001-05:00

Record

2010-02-20T01:01:00.001-05:00

:) So so much has been going on lately. God is so faithful!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

humm

2010-02-09T15:35:00.000-05:00

very soon i hope something inspirational which spurs on the creative juices and lends to some adventure comes my way...

adding to more flava in life.

Made for Another World

2010-02-06T02:44:00.000-05:00

"One decisive influence was J. R. R. Tolkein, author of The Lord of the Rings. He argued like this, as Lewis did for the rest of his life: When this Joy—this stab of inconsolable longing—is awakened by certain powerful “myths” or “stories,” it is evidence that behind these myths there is a true Myth, a true Story that really exists, and that the reason the Joy is desirable and inconsolable is that it’s not the real thing. The True Myth, the Real Joy is the original shout, so to speak, and the stories and myths of human making are only echoes.

Tolkein pressed the analogous truth for Christianity. And Lewis did the same years later: “A man’s physical hunger does not prove that that man will get any bread: he may die of starvation on a raft in the Atlantic. But surely a man’s hunger does prove that he comes of a race which repairs its body by eating, and inhabits a world where eatable substances exist.” In other words, “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that I was made for another world.”"

-Piper on C.S. Lewis

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/ConferenceMessages/ByConference/46/4503_Lessons_from_an_Inconsolable_Soul/

Suffer Well

2010-02-06T00:10:00.000-05:00

Pastor Matt Chandler of The Village Church had a seizure on Thanksgiving 2009 and a brain tumor was found in his head.

Just like that.

Watch this video. What an example. When you suffer, suffer well, that all might know that only Christ satisfies!

Christ is the treasure, not good health or wealth.

Everywhere

2010-02-05T01:55:00.000-05:00

This is a photo representative of my life right now.

It sometimes feels like a deserted, foggy roller coaster, and I'm riding all alone. Other times it feels like I was left on a deserted island. Or like I'm walking through the wilderness on a lone path with no end in sight. My only comfort is knowing that Christ is all around, above and below, standing so near.

Other than that, it's been pretty quiet here. The good news is that I think I'm getting closer to knowing what I should do in my life (for the current season). I was just praying out my options to the Lord last night, explaining what was going through my head with each of my 7 ideas and suddenly it clicked. I'm not 100% sure, but we'll see. I'm just glad that I'm getting closer.

Also, I was driving home from our soccer game today and within my current situation of coaching, I finally pieced together parts of why I'm there. A few weeks into the job back in July I just couldn't figure out why everything was happening as they were. I can now taste and see the blessing. So I must keep faith that things will eventually make sense on this crazy deserted island as well.

And I really like this video. Such a comfort to know that the Lord is everywhere. Psalm 139

And Evan's sons are just so cute, I wish I could babysit them. : )

life.

2010-02-03T03:39:00.000-05:00

There have been MANY switchbacks on this strange road.

Today my coach asked if I would speak at his memorial/funeral.

He has been battlin' with leukemia for many years now, but it looks like the Lord might finally take Him soon.

I have a lot to say about this & I am learning a lot, but i don't have the words right now & it's so late... I need to sleep.

Life is crazy. So much stuff is happening and I didn't even see it coming.

The sky is big.

2010-01-29T20:25:00.000-05:00

"Seek refuge under the wings of God, even when they seem to cast only shadows,
and at just the right time God will let you look out from his Eagle's nest
onto some spectacular sunrise."
-Piper

Know Christ

2010-01-28T04:09:00.000-05:00

This is moving.
Makes me think.

DWYL

2010-01-28T01:55:00.000-05:00

"Whatever you do, find the God-centered, Christ-exalting, Bible-saturated passion of your life,
and find your way to say it
and live for it
and die for it.
And you will make a difference that lasts.
You will not waste your life."

-John Piper

This is the most clear thing I've heard in a while.

An Inconsolable Longing

Lately

(no title)

Excited

Text

The title

Latest read

This morning-thoughts

Fitzgerald

Optimism

I need to hear this again and again

What if

Hoy

El aeropuerto estaba fenomenal

Another social media rant

The cutest thing I've ever seen! And I love this song!

Lately

Is education a business? We need a revolution.

Higher Education

What a run will do

The reason you won't delete your facebook

The Church & community

Ano Nuevo

Feliz Ano Nuevo

A piece of paper is not enough

Foreshadow

Discipleship

would it be much better if i knew nothing about you

Mi Nuevo Apartmento

Muchas palabras

Julia

Fashion

Lately

Something that I am learning about myself...

These days

Job 37:13

Eph 5:1-2

late night doodle

God's Word

Women

Hippies

Love this

We're so cool.

Let me hide myself in Thee

Heartbreak

this inspires me

Biiirrrd

Kentucky

I want to LIVE

BLAH

I feel it all

**It Is Well With My Soul**

Initial thoughts

Crickets & Frogs

Whirlwind

Revelations 19

Thoughts as I watch the sky go by

Where I am

"Whatever comes, we shall endure."

200th post!

Resolutions: Paul Tripp

New Years

Music

Unconditional Love

Marriage!

If you do not love the church, you do not love Christ!

Someday...

Sometimes...

This spoke to me on many levels

I want to move away

!!!

Lists

Have flavor. Learn Theology.

Hipstamatic

Soccer & Water

To be like Jesus!

Live the Gospel

Resolved 2010

Nothing else to rely upon

Now and soon to be

It Is Well With My Soul